Why I Made The Ice Caps Melt

The unavoidable fact is, nobody spends their time writing childish poems about climate change. Not even children do it. It’s as if they realize their adult lives will be too preoccupied with dealing with the effects of global warming, so why waste time on it now when they could be playing and experiencing their only true moments of careless joy?

Unlike other jobs that seem inevitable somehow, those who toil in the climate change poem industry labor in vain. Their business model could collapse completely and the world would not feel its loss at all.

That’s the brutal truth of economics. So I tried to write one about harsh realities, but it took a predictable turn.

There are some outcomes we are simply not equipped to avoid.

The jobs we do define our lives
Like bees who strive to build their hives.
The drones aren’t criticized or blamed.
The roles they fill are pre-ordained.
The Queen, likewise, cannot freelance.
She plays her part and does her dance.

My family was far from royal.
But we got rich by pumping oil.
And I inherited the biz.
Entitlement. That’s what it is.
We must accept the hand we’re dealt
That’s why I made the ice caps melt.

In my defense, for what it’s worth,
I didn’t mean to break the Earth.
It was a side effect – a quirk
Of endless days and boring work
Had I instead chosen to shun it
Some other magnate would have done it.

But now I’ve put that all away..
Retirement begins today.
And though it had some steep downsides –
The toxic air and rising tides.
The business has rewarded me.
I’ve got a mansion by the sea!


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