Here’s a Super Bowl poem from Trail Baboon’s rhyming poet laureate, Schulyer Tyler Wyler. A common question on the Monday after the world’s largest remaining Roman Numeraled Event is “Did you watch the Super Bowl?” I suggested that phrase as a title for the poem, and told STW he could come up with the rest as long as it doesn’t go on for too many verses.
STW said he was willing to take on this project under three conditions:
- He could base the poem on the rhythm and rhyme scheme of the song “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Miserables. “I just saw the new film version and that stupid song is stuck in my head,” he said. “‘Do You Hear The People Sing’ and ‘Did You Watch The Super Bowl’ have the same number of syllables, so I should be able to do it in ten minutes flat, and maybe this will help me banish the thing from my brain at long last.”
- I would not require him to actually watch the game or know anything about it.
- I would pay him in advance.
Since I AM interested in watching the game and did not want to have to come up with a blog post for today, and since STW and I always deal in make-believe money, I agreed to pay him $1,000 pretend dollars and he got to work immediately.
For reference, here’s the original song, from the 1998 film version.
Did you watch the Super Bowl?
There was a lot of stuff to see.
There was a ton of advertising
pushing stuff that’s not for me.
There were men who came to play
fighting about an oblong ball
but what they did I cannot say
for I don’t recall.
I saw puppies and a baby.
Sloppy kissing and a car.
Some beer was drunk by people
but don’t ask me who they are.
It all was a blur, and so noisy.
I watched in a bar!
Did you see the Super Bowl?
Yes but it all went by so quick.
There was a time when I blacked out.
I’m sure the nachos made me sick.
There were fortunes that were lost.
There was a bunch of money won.
But it did not appear to me
anyone had fun.
There were folks with painted faces
wearing beads for Mardi Gras.
There were men so overweight
they needed girdles and a bra.
And that was my family, I hope that
nobody else saw!
Did you see the Super Bowl?
Well yes I knew that it was on.
And I suppose I watched a little
bit while stifling a yawn.
I am sure they’ll play again.
Two super teams will get their shot.
And which teams played the game this year
I will have forgot.
I’m pretty sure I did not get my make-believe money’s worth from rhyming poet laureate Schuyler Tyler Wyler, but that’s what the morning after the Super Bowl is for – waking up with the feeling that you’ve just thrown away a bunch of time and money on something meaningless.
And I think he was lying about not watching the game. That line about blacking out is a clear reference to the 3rd quarter power failure at the Super Dome.
What do you do when the electricity goes out?