The Donald, in Losing, Declares Victory

In 2011 President Obama released his “long form” birth certificate, putting (largely) to rest criticism that suggested he was not born in America, but rather in Kenya, his father’s home country.

Most people accepted the fact that the president was indeed born in the USA.  Others, the so-called “birthers”, simply could not resist embracing the notion that a president they opposed might dismissed so easily.

Up to that point, one of the people most active in spreading doubt about the President’s birthplace was billionaire Donald Trump.

Trump’s reaction to the document release was classic.  Rather than admit he was in any way mistaken, Trump quickly took credit for it, a gambit I thought deserved a few lines of immortal verse.

I’ve done what no one else could do!
I proved that One plus One is Two.
I forced the issue on this sum
By talking loud and playing dumb.

Whenever I was sternly told
“The answer’s ‘two’”, I’d glare and scold,
Then turn and ask them on the spot
“But what if? Just suppose it’s not!”

They’d give me something, then one more,
then count them both and like before
They’d say “That’s two, and it’s a fact.”
And that’s when I’d begin my act.

“I cannot see the thing you show!
It’s something I choose not to know.”
I’d stamp my feet and flip my hair
And claim their ‘two’ just wasn’t there.

I’d bluster some, then bloviate.
I’d act offended and irate.
They let me do it, as a famous,
celebrated ignoramus!

I spewed so much wild talk about it,
Some others soon began to doubt it!
“Suppose the answer’s cherry pie?”
“Could be!” I said! “If so, they lie!”

At last, alas the thing became
a rally built around my name.
And I became a great forsoother.
The “One Plus One Might Not Be Two-ther!”

That is, until they had to show
the documents that say it’s so.
And I received what was my due
Attention paid, by all of you.

I got my way through agitation
and supplied a grateful nation
proof at last, with wiles and art
That playing stupid can be smart


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