Ask Dr. Babooner

Dear Dr. Babooner,

I wrote to you a little over one month ago with a serious question about the life I had led in the field of politics, and how I felt under appreciated by just about everyone I encountered in that world.

I had just been rejected as a potential vice presidential nominee in favor of someone younger and prettier – and this happened after spending a ton of money in a failed bid to become president. When I wrote to you, I wanted to know if I should walk away from the relentless striving for attention and approval, or quietly position myself to run for some other office, like Senator.

You answered with some baffling gibberish about Nixon.

And yet I’m writing to you again because I think you’re one of the few people who takes me seriously.

I’ve just decided to leave politics and take a high paying job in the private sector. This is the right thing for me to do after years on a government salary. The gravy train is at the station!

And yet people are acting like I’m some sort of traitor because I had to quit my unpaid volunteer political job as co-chair of a big campaign. Critics say I’m “jumping ship” and hurting the candidate’s feelings in his time of need.

Trust me, the candidate doesn’t know what it means to have a “time of need” – he’s a super rich guy with a big ego. And frankly, guys like him can be a bit distant and clueless, feelings-wise.

But I’m not running away from my troubles. Now, instead of dealing with just one I’ll get to pal around with a whole bunch of super rich guys with big egos who can be a bit distant and clueless, feelings-wise. Some things never change.

I got into public service to help people, Dr. Babooner. I admit it didn’t always work out that way, but my intentions were good. Like most people, I wanted to be a hero and do something big and memorable. That’s why my new job is going to be so great. I get to sit at a round table!

Growing up as an American child, I knew I could never be one of the REAL Knights of Camelot. But this will be the closest thing to it! We’ve got a whole publicity staff just to the promote the idea that all we do is noble deeds!

If you had this opportunity you would take it too!
So why is everybody being so mean to me about it?

Passed Over, Obviously Rejected, Tired, Insulted, & Mad

I told P.O.O.R.T.I.M. that he needn’t apologize for taking the money. Everyone needs to pay the bills and people are sometimes mean when they feel jealous, so maybe they just envy you. Getting paid AND getting to be the leader of the roundtable seems like a dream job, but be watchful over how much chain mail and armor they put on you.

That stuff can chafe!

But that’s just one opinion. What do YOU think, Dr. Babooner?

71 thoughts on “Ask Dr. Babooner”

  1. Dear POORTIM,
    Use your position to find out which banking vehicle provides the best interest and save all the tribute money they pay you. Methinks that your time at the round table will be short so you will need to stretch your shekels to cover the time after they see through you.
    Most sincerely,
    Dr B (still shopping at Sam’s Club)


  2. “exactly the kind of leader we need to continue to improve our industry’s reputation, advocate firm-but-fair regulation and help maintain our global leadership of the financial markets.”

    this is the quote from the wall street journal about tims appintment. it reminds me of the fox news tag for o reillys fair and balanced look. can senator franken write a book about the wall street lobby and the view that they want firm but fair regulation? tim is their man. if you dont believe he is decisive just give him a minute to ask his people what he is supposed to say about that.

    i think as the leader of the roundtable you can call poortim sir kissassalot. he has found his true calling. he can join uncle normy in the suit with a resume biz. after an stint at pretending karl roves ideas or grover norquists were his very own he can spend the rest of his integrity sympathizing with the poor wall street victims who have had such a hard time in this horrible democrat induced depression.

    i think his power of persuasion is perfectly suited for this new post. give him a speech to stick in is pocket and he is ready to go. thats our boy. sending off another leader to blaze trails in the free world. make sure he keeps the grocery list in the other pocket. im not sure hed notice the difference until he was halfway through the produce.

    i am elated that washington will be the new home for the pawlentys. i hope it works better fo him than his home in st paul. he was never here out helping the free world with trips to china to blaze minnesota trails over there. do they sell cereal in china? bye bye poortim. have a nice life away form minnesota.


  3. Good morning. You think we take you seriously, POORTIM? You are more delusional than I had previously thought. You didn’t pick up on the negative tone to the comments we made about you? This explains why you thought you might have a chance to become President. However, I don’t understand how you managed to become Governor of Minnesota. That’s almost equal to the mystery about how George the Second could become President twice. I don’t think there is any mystery about how you landed your new job. I have little doubt that your have some friends who you have helped in the past who helped you get your new job.


  4. Take you cushy job, excessive pay, and old-boys-club clique and quityerbitchin. Be off with you to Washington where I don’t have to listen to you any more (or at least not much). But remember, buddy, they don’t do hockey there like we do here. Eventually you may discover that old Hubert Humphrey wasn’t so wrong, Minnesotans are better people than you thought, and besides, we have a pond hockey tournament.


  5. Morning all… missed you all the last few days. Big project is pushed out the door and I’ve caught up on the blogs I missed. But I do have a few comments from the last few days:

    • Wonderful post about some wonderful-sounding women… thanks Clyde.
    • Derailed? I feel a little like Linda and Lisa and Krista. “Rails, we don’t need no stinkin’ rails!”
    • Happy birthday and congrats on the new cube digs Anna!
    • Just a blood donor but I’m up over 5 gallons at this point. Like Lisa, I’m O+ which is the most common hence the most needed. Teenager has donated a couple of times although they just changed the requirements which puts most teenagers out of contention.

    I don’t know what to say about POORTIM, except that if he goes to Washington hopefully I won’t have to hear much more about him here in Minnesota!


  6. Rise and Shine Baboons!

    Dear, Dear, Dear POORTIM,

    I am so very pleased to hear that you have this fabulous new opportunity to jump from the sinking ship, the USS MITT, on which you are now a passenger rat, to the Wall Street Titanic cruise liner which has an equally bright future! Think of the money, the glamour, the Bernie Madoff population with whom you will be cruising! What an opportunity to align yourself with ethical businessmen who hold their country’s best interest so close to their ratty little hearts.

    Do take a your personal safety vest and an inflatable raft with you in the move, in case you must jump ship again. But, please don’t jump back to the Minnesota ship. While we so appreciate your public service here, you deserve a larger and more distant pond upon which to cruise. Your ability has grown too large for your home state.


        1. you know i think there is a putin ship located a bit west or is it east? where the odds are good of riding it out a while longer. can you say da, sure you can comrade


  7. I celebrated when I heard that Tim Pawlenty had tired of public service and was going to hit the feed trough. Frankly, the guy scared me. He was weak in some obvious ways (“charisma” being one) but had one outstanding skill: he could describe terrible policies in terms that sounded rational and appealing. He was a great storyteller (in the political context). That made him, for me, a dangerous, dangerous guy. I think we’ve seen the last of him as a candidate.


    1. State processes became more complicated and convoluted under poortim. It was done in the interest of accountability but resulted in a baffling system which lost transparency due to its extreme complexity and the frustrating length of time it takes to get anything done. He was dangerous in ways that most people don’t even realize. As a state employee, I am very glad to see him gone from public service.


      1. That seems to be part of the approach to governing of the group that Pawlenty seems have joined. They have rules with no understanding of what they are ruling.


        1. I really don’t believe he’s stupid. I think he knew very well what he was doing. He made so many new, complicated and challenging processes for anyone who wants to do business with our state agencies that no one wants to do business with us anymore. The changes that were made during his term to the way state agencies do business had the effect of grinding any progress the agencies were making to a halt. It made it very easy to blame state bureaucracy and its employees and cause people to dislike government even more. State employees are a resilient bunch of people, though, with a strong will to provide the service with which they’re charged. We’re finding a way through the processes and still getting things done.


      1. I’m not too worried. Running for office is not a lot of fun. Pawlenty has had his share of humiliation in that way. Once he starts making big bucks I don’t think he’ll be tempted to go back to running for office.

        And–sheesh–I’m a frackin’ blue doily again.


        1. Shouldn’t that be “frickin’ blue doily”? With all the bad press fracking’s been getting, I mean?


  8. Completely OT – plug for new show on KFAI. I’ve been listening to the new show from 6-8 a.m. on KFAI (show doesn’t have an official name yet) and it’s great. Lots of different (and usually fun) kinds of music, some history, some interviews, little news, little weather. And nice to hear Dale’s voice in the morning as well. I’m thinking that if I like it, some of you might like it too!


      1. i can stream it most of the time but have had difficulty while traveling. i like it too. not enough dale not enough music but interesting sidebars and it is always refreshing.


      2. I was having some trouble streaming KFAI before getting a new modem from the phone company that provides me with my connection to the internet. I am lucky to be a neighbor of the daughter of our local phone company serviceman who is very friendly and helpful. Frontier is the company that provides my service.


        1. I have Frontier too, Jim. The service from the company itself is lousy but the service I get from the local serviceman is wonderful – just like you describe. I just got done arguing with them for six months over changes in my bill (kept going up before my contract expired, they kept tacking on little fees and charges, etc.) They still haven’t sent me the “return kit” they promised for the modem they sent. Now I have two of their modems. My serviceman told me to keep the extra one.


  9. OT I’m still planning on making a “last” cabin visit this next weekend. The only thing jeopardizing that now is that I just had my identity (in the sense of my debit card number) stolen and my only bank account was cleaned out. Fun, fun, fun!


    1. i have the dilemma of going to your cabin or watching my daughter be the star pitcher on her team in the state finals. i think i need to play dad and be there to celebrate/ console encourage … all that dad stuff. last year there was a weekend off between the qualifiers this weekend and the state finals. this year they are back to back. dang


    2. check with the visa card or whatever and see if there is an insurance deal r if they are responsible for after the first 50 dllars or something. do you need groceries or anything in the meantime? i just made a monster batch of chili and could spare a 1/2 gallon or so if youd like it.


  10. Sorry . . I was napping. It sounds like I might not have to pay the price on this one. I’m not sure yet. The thief had a shopping trip at Macy’s & the Apple Store to the tune of $3,000. I may be reimbursed for that.

    I did nothing wrong. The card never left my hands. But I made three purchases Wednesday. At one of them, someone apparently could see my card well enough to get the numbers. That’s all it took. I never lost control of my wallet or anything.


      1. could be anywhere. gas station slots are one of the main culprits. you are supposed to complete the transaction at the end instead of driving away without finishing.i am told. i am not sure i believe it but ill throw it out there today


  11. Wow, brother! This must feel so invasive and maddening. I mean – why didn’t they pick on someone with obvious means? Why you?? It’s a horrible feeling to discover some low-life has ripped off your credit. A few years ago, after dancing one night, I discovered my credit cards, cash, and camera had been lifted from my purse. The feelings are still vivid and the urgency to take immediate action to stop the thief remain close to my surface. After canceling every card, putting stop payments in action, making police reports, and buying a new camera, I achieved a little peace. Six weeks later while cleaning out my car, I found all the missing items under my passenger side seat.


  12. It both makes me feel bad and good that I did nothing stupid. I didn’t lose control of my card. I didn’t have the PIN number written near it. I didn’t share my information with a stranger. I just used my card in a presumably safe setting, and someone victimized me.


    1. Steve, Before you are destined to give the hairy eye ball to the Lund’s bag boy…It is possible that the number was stolen randomly and not locally. That’s what happened to me when my card was in my purse and the thief was in Phoenix.


        1. Linda, that is interesting. I need to correct my story. I don’t know for sure that the purchases were made at local bricks-and-mortar stores. I’ll find out. But I haven’t bought gas or used an ATM in over a month. In terms of online shopping, I have purchased very little in the past month and nothing from a new vendor. It is hard to know how I got skimmed.


    2. It’s really disheartening to know that there are crooks our there who are obviously very technology savvy, who choose to make their living by ripping off other people.


    3. Sorry to hear about this, Steve. Chainsaws and plungers not much help in this situation… Except to extract revenge on the guilty!
      (Honestly, I’m not a violet person. How’s the old joke go, the Amish man wakes and can hear a burglar in his house, takes his shotgun and says ‘Stranger, I mean you no harm, but you’re standing where I intend to shoot.’ )


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