Today’s guest post comes from Clyde.
I have hit on a sure-fail marketing scheme, without even participating in a meeting that never ends, well, except for the one in my mind.
I am going to market a set of CD’s called “Sounds to Edit By.” It would hold the following discs, all of which I must confess I own and find perfect for editing:
- One hour of falling rain with thunder in the distant background.
- Haydn Symphony 101, “The Clock”
- “Inner Voices” by R. Carlos Nakai (Navaho flute music)
- Haydn Symphony 94, “The Surprise” (I keep missing the surprise)
- Gregorian Chant
- “In Concert: Credence Clearwater Revival.” (This is to clear the palette.)
- Plainsong Chant
- “Enya” (I borrow it from Sandy) (No, really; it’s hers, not mine; really.)
- “Canyon Consort” by Paul Winter
- One hour of ocean waves
I realize that my potential audience is small, maybe just me and Robin, Bonnie L., and an astounding number of my former students who are editors and writers of various forms.
But who would have thought there was such a large consumer base for high-priced coffee that, to me, tastes much like battery acid! Or that people would buy bottles of water at 10,000 times the cost of a glass from their tap! Or that karaoke would still be slowly lingering to its eagerly anticipated death! So maybe my idea would work. A post script: I would add to my box set one last CD I don’t own containing only “Amazing Grace” played on bagpipes.
Browsing pointlessly in our pointless public library yesterday, I spotted a book title that jumped out at me: “Florida for Dummies.” Go ahead, write your own punchline.
But there was a success I would have never foreseen, the Dummy Books. Do they hold meetings trying to analyze their potential audience:
- “Someone who listens to Limbaugh?”
- “Well, no, not that dumb; has to be able to read.”
- “Voted for Sarah Palin?’
- “And watches ‘Dancing wit the Star’.”
- “And is a NASCAR fan.”
- “A Cubs fan for sure.”
- “No, a Yankees fan.”
Maybe they just envision Homer Simpson and Jessica Simpson.
But more power to them; not that we English teachers would ever approve of writing concisely and precisely, using graphic elements effectively. I have used a couple of the books, maybe three or four, to quickly overview a topic. I thought of some I could write:
- “Intelligence for Dummies.” But on which end of the spectrum am I an expert?
- “Editting for Dummys”
- “Left-Handedness for Dummies,” meaning for right-handed people.
- “Baboons for Dummies”
- “Lefse and Cardboard for Dummies” (How to distinguish between them)
- “Living with Germans for Dummies” (And who else would?)
- “Michele Bachmann for Michele Bachmann”
What Dummies book do you need?
What Dummies book would you write?