Today’s guest post comes from Clyde.
When science and math people put on a strong push for adoption of the metric system a few decades ago, Isaac Asimov jokingly proposed we needed some other metric units. He proposed several, the only one of which I remember was the Milihelen, which is the amount of beauty it takes to launch one ship. When I worked as a lab tech, my lab mate and I, in response to Dr. Asimov, invented many of our own, especially on Friday afternoons. Most of them I have forgotten, or am unwilling to repeat. Two of them I have included below. I got to thinking we could use a few right now. So here are my offerings:
- The kilobachman could measure so many things. Lets say dishonesty and insensitivity.
- The microcheney equals a common everyday lie.
- The decabeck describes a thumb skewed ten degrees from opposable.
- The macromartha is 1,000,000 hours of pointless media time.
- The unbiddenbidenbabble is 15 seconds of careless comment.
- A mccain mile is the distance is decent man goes to find the larger view. (But the mccain mile has some potholes, the depth of which are measured in decapalins).
- A Yankee penny equals $1,000,000 of player salary.
- A nanodale meters the speed of cleverness.
- The Connelly Constant expresses an ever-lighthearted point of view.
- The Clyde Constant expresses an ever-lightheaded point of view.
- A decacoffeesnort is a small bit of humor.
- A kilocoffeesnort is too crude to discuss.
- A kilobartholemew reports on the contents of TGitH’s closet.
- A squarerenee measures yard space turned into garden.
- Dynohollies express Utube searching skill.
- Hemisemidemiquibbles are needed to measure rudeness on the Trail.
- Gusgrits measure the rate of a Northerner’s adjustment to Southern life.
- The lurker curve is a line below which are hidden unknown wonders and a too-quiet goatherd.
- A decakilobaboon is a 100-post day on the Trail.
- Centiblevin equals a ten degree forward nod of the head from boredom.
- Thirteen duorhondas helped out with Steve’s tree.
- A centitim equals 100 typing errors.
- A megahurts measures fibromyalgia pain level.
- OMGdro’s number: number of pointless text messages sent everyday in America (6.022 ×10 to the 23rd power).
- Potatoes cubed is what I am working on for supper.
- An angstdrum holds 120 gallons of fret and worry.
- Kilowhats measure, well . . . some folks just don’t get it. At all.
I could not think of a good measure for basic human goodness, which says something about me, the state of the times, the media, or all of the above.
What would you name the unit for human decency/kindness/generosity?
(Or anything else I missed.)