January | 2011 | Trail Baboon

Re-writing History

January 31, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Protesters challenging entrenched governments in Tunisia and Egypt gained early momentum thanks to social media. That Facebook and Twitter could play such a role in modern insurrections was unimagined by the founders of these social websites, and the whole notion of a website would be incomprehensible to Our Founding Fathers. Where current events will lead is unclear, but if you transport these latest devices back 236 years, it’s not hard to imagine that earlier revolutions might have started in the […]

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Categories: Poems • Tags: Egypt, Paul Revere, Politics, Twitter

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Walking Music

January 29, 2011 by Dale Connelly

In one of yesterday’s comments, Clyde mentioned taking a brisk morning walk in Mesa, Arizona while listening to this song by Peter Mayer. Peter is a wonderful guy and this is a great song for many cosmic reasons. But one of the more cosmetically attractive things about it is that the music unfolds at a pace that is just right for walking. Same thing here, though a little faster, from Fats Domino. The right music at a perfect pace can […]

Categories: Uncategorized • Tags: Music

Ages of Man

January 28, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Here’s the latest angst-ridden message from perennial sophomore Bubby Spamden. I think the dark days of late January are starting to get to him. Hey Mr. C., I’m wondering if it’s possible to erase blog posts forever. The last time I wrote I admitted that I was kinda sick of being held back as a high school sophomore over and over and over again. After all, it’s been twenty-five years! But now that I’ve had time to think about it, […]

Categories: Bubby Spamden

Ask Dr. Babooner

January 27, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Dear Dr. Babooner, The roof on the storage shed out back collapsed this winter from the weight of the snow, and the structure is unusable. The thing has always been an eyesore, and now that it’s damaged a debate has started about its real value. I admit there are benefits. We throw all the sports equipment in there and it helps make everything nice and tidy in our garage. Our kids and the others in the neighborhood get a lot […]

Categories: Dr. Babooner

S.O.S. (Support Our Slogan)

January 26, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Among the reactions to last night’s State of the Union message was this late night dispatch from marketing genius and all-purpose idea man Spin Williams, who conducts his business in a rolling conversation he calls The Meeting That Never Ends. We’ve been kicking it around in The Meeting all night long, and it’s our verdict that the standout feature of President Obama’s speech last night is his repeated exhortation for Americans to “Win The Future”. It’s a brilliant three-word call […]

Categories: Spin Williams • Tags: State of the Union, Win The Future

Will You Be My Friend?

January 25, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Here’s a special message for residents of Minnesota’s 9th Congressional district – all the water surface area in the state – from Congressman Loomis Beechly. Greetings Constituents! I’m looking forward to the President’s State of the Union address tonight because I can’t wait to see who’s going to be sitting with whom! Random seating! It’s like the Red Carpet walk at the Oscars, with all eyes on who gets out of the car and in what order. Once inside it’ll […]

Categories: Congressman Beechly • Tags: State of the Union

Goats in the News

January 24, 2011 by Dale Connelly

PBS has launched a four part series under the Nova banner called “Making Stuff”, hosted by New York Times Tech columnist David Pogue. If you didn’t catch last Wednesday night’s first installment, you can watch it here. Especially if you like goats, and I know a few of you do. About three quarters of the way through the hour, Pouge’s search for the strongest stuff on the planet, which has already covered steel and Kevlar, finally comes around to some […]

Categories: Uncategorized • Tags: goats, spiders

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Now Appearing Elsewhere

January 22, 2011 by Dale Connelly

People sometimes politely ask “how’s it going”, meaning, “are you finding any work”? I always feel like I’m letting them down when I say “not really”, so it’s nice to have something tangible to point to every now and then. I’ve managed to complete a couple of freelance projects, which are now housed at different places online. The Line, an online magazine, posted this article I wrote about the University of Minnesota’s St. Anthony Falls Laboratory – a highly prestigious […]

Categories: Uncategorized

Real Crime Overlooked

January 21, 2011 by Dale Connelly

A new dispatch has arrived from sensation loving, factually impaired journalist Bud Buck, as he attempts to capitalize on the latest headlines. Midwestern Crime Families Remain Untouched By Federal Probe By Bud Buck Yesterday’s FBI roundup of New York and New Jersey crime families has sent shockwaves through national syndicates of biologically related people who engage in illegal activities, but so far the ruthless crime families of the American Midwest are untouched by this latest probe. “Are we looking over […]

Categories: Bud Buck

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Beechly Preaches Reform

January 20, 2011 by Dale Connelly

Here’s a special message from Congressman Loomis Beechly, who represents Minnesota’s 9th District – all the water surface area in the state. Greetings 9th Districters There have been several phone calls to my office asking if I voted to repeal the Health Care Bill yesterday. This is disturbing because I thought my office number was unlisted – if people keep calling, how will we get any work done? Besides, my position on Health Care Reform has been crystal clear all […]